Spring

Wow, this winter went past quicker than I could hope! And with spring comes energy. I'm taking walks everyday now in the somewhat warm sun, watching the winter melt away and I feel some hope for the future again.

The site is almost ready now and I'm still trying to find a way to start my studies, I hate the place I live in for that, it's almost impossible to find a way for me to study that doesn't include a classroom filled with people. Let me study at home dammit!

Oh I went on an awesome trip some weeks ago to visit a friend over the weekend. Insane parties, interesting people and crazy amounts of alcohol. I tried to stay at my low alcoholic drinks but people seem to like to get me drunk so I was given a lot of drinks. Well, atleast I didn't take my pants off for anyone! I don't know if that's a good thing btw... Am I getting too picky? Or is there something that's called too picky for a girl like me? So to you guys I'm taking my pants off for, feel special because you are!

And please, people with psycho girlfriends, keep them in a cage or something where they belong! Getting tired of them crazy girls causing irrational drama! Two days ago an old friend (or, we where friends 4-5 years ago and we slept together a couple of times, no biggie, no feelings etc) sent a message to me saying he needed my help to save his relationship. I haven't heard a single word from him in maybe 1-2 years so I thought "Hm okay what can I possibly do to help this guy?". And i didn't knew if I should laugh or just try to take him seriously when he told me I had to lie to his fiancée (a person I have never met or talked to ever, they got engaged 2-3 months after they met and oh did i mention that was a year ago and now they have a baby? Also she is from Usa and he lives in Norway, how does that work???) because she was pissed that he and I had slept together 4-5 years ago.

First, we where only friends, it happend a long time ago, no feelings at all and they haven't even met!
So first I'm just laughing at the whole situation, this woman actually thinks it's a big deal that her guy slept with some random girl 1000 years ago. So after a while i agree to "confirm" that we only slept once and that he wore a condom. (Does everything become okay with condoms? "Hm honey.. I slept with a bunch of prostitues and children 10 years ago, it was a strange part of my life but it's totally okay because I wore a condom!" Note: this was a hypotethical situation) And btw, he said that if I wouldn't help him with this lie, his fiancée would leave him and take the baby. Yes, for this little thing.. Imagine when they actually have real problems to fight about? What will she do then?
So he wrote me a message on facebook, I answered and said "Yes we only slept once and a condom was involved!" and then, something happend...
This is the messages that followed, crazy enough!

Psycho girlfriend using her bf's account:Look you and Jonas both think Im stupid. he admitted he told you to say that. 

Me:
Oh my god, so much drama with the two of you! This was 4-5 years ago okay? Long before you where even together!

And the only reason i said that was yes, because he told me to. And do you even know why he told me to do that? To make you happy and for some reason to make your relationship work (tbh, I don't see why he tries so hard making things better since you seem like a complete psycho).

Now you know  and please, don't contact me again and the same goes for Jonas. Kisses! 

Psycho girlfriend using her bf's account:
fucking little slut

Okay, she had to get the last word, remember, she is a mother of a child.
Can we please make all parents do a test to prove themselves capable mentally to actually raise a baby?
And why the hell did he after all that trouble convincing me to actually help him tell her the real truth?
Well, I haven't heard anything from them so I think my message worked!

And gentlemen, learn from this, don't stick your dick in crazy! And don't stick your dick in awesome, because your future girlfriends will probably turn crazy...

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Night creatures

I've been a night creature since I was 14. I kinda like it this way, everything is always more calm and quiet at night. It feels like you're the only person awake, watching the world while everybody else sleeps. Sometimes you get accompanied by some other creatures of the night and you form a strange bond of friendship because you are both loners, watching the world, but now you have each other.

Have you ever tried standing outside in the middle of the night? Listen to the lack of noise and feel a strange peace inside of you? I have tried many times to adapt to the normal life of a day creature but I always fail after a couple of days. I'm addicted to the feeling I get from the night. Maybe I just like being lonely? I wish i could become a day person, so I wouldn't fuck up other peoples routines.

Sometimes people stay up with me, I like that, it feels special. Since there's very few people awake we only have each other to talk to. You have more time for real conversations. People have more time for me. I try to contact friends during the day, but they are always so busy with, school, work, life, other friends. There's no time for me. Some night creatures I have found online, we got a chance to get to know each other, some of them I have never even met in real life, but still after many years we speak during the night. Maybe not every night, but you never forget a fellow night creature. It's a strange relationship.

It's 4:40 am, I'm still wide awake since my 1am workout. After that I have watched some tv-shows, lady wanked, eaten two sandwiches and drinking 3 glasses of water. Now I'm writing this, trying to get my thoughts and feelings about the night into words, in english. I have no problem writing stuff in swedish, english is harder. It's like my sentences doesn't contain any emotions. Just words.
And I know this blog should be about my business in porn and tits and stuff, but sometimes I have to write me off.

And sorry to my friends that I have kept up way past your bedtimes. You know, I don't do it because I want to fuck you up, it's because I like to spend my nights with you. That's a compliment from my part.

Back in Sockholm

Have been home for a week now, no updates since I have been lazy, but that felt kinda good. Now it's a new week and stuff to be done :) making a cup of tea now and I'm gonna start editing all my footage from my trip.

Since I don't have a gym nearby with reasonable prices I have to continue my homw workout. And it's so freaking annoying! Laying on the floor doing sit-ups is probably the worst. It doesn't feel like I'm actually doning something good and my neck always hurts after a while. Everytime I start working out again i get more aware of my body, and i always feel fat. I kinda like my body as it is now, even though I've gained maybe 5 kg's, but it feels and looks like 20 now. When I was younger I was over-weight. So I started working out and stop eating which made me skinny, but I also became obsessed with losing weight. Now when I'm older and wiser, the same thing happens and it sucks. Don't know what to do... Since I get annoyed really quick when I work out I plan on doing 10 min work out three times a day, see how that works. I also hate walks, especilly now when it's cold outside. Damn you winter, damn you work outs!