Wednesday, July 3, 2013


From this day, all updates and this blog will be moved to a new location, and that is: my website!
It's finally official! So head out to because that's where I'll be!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

More updates

The site will be live very soon my friends! Sadly, I won't be having any clips for sale until January BUT for some that don't feel like you can wait for that have another option. And that option is to simply buy a camshow. (more info about that will be posted on the site when it's live)
I will update my site as often as I have something interesting or fun to either show och write about. I will try to start video blogging even tho I find it kinda scary which is strange since I'm totally okay with being naked in front of a camera but talking about stuff, no not so much.

So my life right now: math, reading about taxes, thinking about cool ideas for clips to shoot, and some working on the site (it's my darling friend who does all the work, I just try to tell him what I want on my site etc so I can't really say that I AM working on the site really.) and a lot more!
It's.. kinda stressful to be honest, but I really can't complain because I actually have a life now! It's amazing.

Since I'm done with everything for today I'm finally gonna relax with some games and beer! Cheers all!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Yey, go me!

Guess who just finally did pay a webhosting company to host her site?
This girl did! It was quite expensive for me but worth it since it HAD to be done so I can finally let my site go live. It's a big step and there will be other big steps I will have to take to make my dream come true. It feels like I've just started walking on the street to awesomeness!

Wish me luck because now I have to send some info to bolagsverket or skatteverket (whatever) about starting my own company. I feel like a little grown up at the moment :)

I promise that I will work on some new material this weekend as long as I don't get my period... No one wants to see that shit.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Hello again!

I have been really lazy with my updates but that's becuase I don't do so much that's interesting right now.

I'm currently studying my ass off, playing WoW, exercising, trying to eat better, you know, boring shit.
About my website, most of it is done but I have some small things that needs to be fixed before i can release it to the world. I'm trying to get some new material, but since my camera sucks and my editing skills are very poor my material doesn't even look good enough to sell. However, I will work with it and hopefully every clip will look better than the previous. I will also try to release some clips for free, you shouldn't have to pay for porn really, so I want to give those without money some nice things to fap to aswell.

I will try to keep you all updated! Til then, have a nice time :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012


Yey, been writing my business plan all day, and yes, I got logged out and didn't save so have to do it all over again, blergh!

Well, I have a business email now that you can send your questions to or just ask in comments: Hope you guys had a good sunday!

Sunday, March 18, 2012


Starting my own business is a lot harder then I thought it would be. Apparently I need the ability to see the future because it's needed if I'm gonna know how much money I will make. And I don't fucking know.
And somehow it's pretty rare that people working with porn actually creates their own business so they can pay the proper tax, because I can't find any fucking facts about it!

I'm frustrated and close to tears now. It's not working, I can't find the numbers I need, and I need a fucking hug and some help with this. Gaaaaaaaaaah. Shouldn't it be easier to start your own business now when there's not enough work for everyone? Why do they have to make it so fucking complicated?

And no one can help me with this since I donät know anyone that have started their own business.
Seriously, when I'm finally trying to do something with my life shit happens and nothing goes my way.
I sound like an annoying bitch right now, I'm aware of that, but it's soooooooooo frustrating!

Ah well, gonna continue my tea drinking and heavy breathing now. Gonna make this work, just don't know how.

Monday, March 12, 2012


Two scenes done, two to go!
It's kinda hard but fun shooting my scenes, my boyfriend is the camera man and yeah, he's kinda retarded when it comes to cameras! We are both learning more and more during each shoot, so they get better and better which can be nice if people notice if they will watch all four scenes. I wish I had some behind the scenes footage but I donät maybe I'll record something during the next two scenes :)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Upcoming things!

Okay, things are really going to start now, I'm gonna start my recordings for four scenes that I will start with on my site! It's almost done now so the only thing I need is some material.
I will start off with solo scenes ONLY, the reason for this is that I can't afford to pay anyone to do a scene with me. Sure there are people willing to do that for free but that would not work with the kind of porn I want to do, I want actors and actresses to get paid for what they do, I need to have some standards. So until then, only solo, no sex scenes.

I know that I will have to start video blogging soon aswell, I think it's scary as hell since my english is even worse when it comes to speaking. Well it's a good practice then, I get to work on my speech aswell as my fear of making a fool of myself. And I have to start to being able to deal with haters and people not liking me, and this is a great practice for that.

Now I have to get ready for my daily walk in the sun :) have a great day everyone!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Wow, this winter went past quicker than I could hope! And with spring comes energy. I'm taking walks everyday now in the somewhat warm sun, watching the winter melt away and I feel some hope for the future again.

The site is almost ready now and I'm still trying to find a way to start my studies, I hate the place I live in for that, it's almost impossible to find a way for me to study that doesn't include a classroom filled with people. Let me study at home dammit!

Oh I went on an awesome trip some weeks ago to visit a friend over the weekend. Insane parties, interesting people and crazy amounts of alcohol. I tried to stay at my low alcoholic drinks but people seem to like to get me drunk so I was given a lot of drinks. Well, atleast I didn't take my pants off for anyone! I don't know if that's a good thing btw... Am I getting too picky? Or is there something that's called too picky for a girl like me? So to you guys I'm taking my pants off for, feel special because you are!

And please, people with psycho girlfriends, keep them in a cage or something where they belong! Getting tired of them crazy girls causing irrational drama! Two days ago an old friend (or, we where friends 4-5 years ago and we slept together a couple of times, no biggie, no feelings etc) sent a message to me saying he needed my help to save his relationship. I haven't heard a single word from him in maybe 1-2 years so I thought "Hm okay what can I possibly do to help this guy?". And i didn't knew if I should laugh or just try to take him seriously when he told me I had to lie to his fiancée (a person I have never met or talked to ever, they got engaged 2-3 months after they met and oh did i mention that was a year ago and now they have a baby? Also she is from Usa and he lives in Norway, how does that work???) because she was pissed that he and I had slept together 4-5 years ago.

First, we where only friends, it happend a long time ago, no feelings at all and they haven't even met!
So first I'm just laughing at the whole situation, this woman actually thinks it's a big deal that her guy slept with some random girl 1000 years ago. So after a while i agree to "confirm" that we only slept once and that he wore a condom. (Does everything become okay with condoms? "Hm honey.. I slept with a bunch of prostitues and children 10 years ago, it was a strange part of my life but it's totally okay because I wore a condom!" Note: this was a hypotethical situation) And btw, he said that if I wouldn't help him with this lie, his fiancée would leave him and take the baby. Yes, for this little thing.. Imagine when they actually have real problems to fight about? What will she do then?
So he wrote me a message on facebook, I answered and said "Yes we only slept once and a condom was involved!" and then, something happend...
This is the messages that followed, crazy enough!

Psycho girlfriend using her bf's account:Look you and Jonas both think Im stupid. he admitted he told you to say that. 

Oh my god, so much drama with the two of you! This was 4-5 years ago okay? Long before you where even together!

And the only reason i said that was yes, because he told me to. And do you even know why he told me to do that? To make you happy and for some reason to make your relationship work (tbh, I don't see why he tries so hard making things better since you seem like a complete psycho).

Now you know  and please, don't contact me again and the same goes for Jonas. Kisses! 

Psycho girlfriend using her bf's account:
fucking little slut

Okay, she had to get the last word, remember, she is a mother of a child.
Can we please make all parents do a test to prove themselves capable mentally to actually raise a baby?
And why the hell did he after all that trouble convincing me to actually help him tell her the real truth?
Well, I haven't heard anything from them so I think my message worked!

And gentlemen, learn from this, don't stick your dick in crazy! And don't stick your dick in awesome, because your future girlfriends will probably turn crazy...

Friday, February 10, 2012

Night creatures

I've been a night creature since I was 14. I kinda like it this way, everything is always more calm and quiet at night. It feels like you're the only person awake, watching the world while everybody else sleeps. Sometimes you get accompanied by some other creatures of the night and you form a strange bond of friendship because you are both loners, watching the world, but now you have each other.

Have you ever tried standing outside in the middle of the night? Listen to the lack of noise and feel a strange peace inside of you? I have tried many times to adapt to the normal life of a day creature but I always fail after a couple of days. I'm addicted to the feeling I get from the night. Maybe I just like being lonely? I wish i could become a day person, so I wouldn't fuck up other peoples routines.

Sometimes people stay up with me, I like that, it feels special. Since there's very few people awake we only have each other to talk to. You have more time for real conversations. People have more time for me. I try to contact friends during the day, but they are always so busy with, school, work, life, other friends. There's no time for me. Some night creatures I have found online, we got a chance to get to know each other, some of them I have never even met in real life, but still after many years we speak during the night. Maybe not every night, but you never forget a fellow night creature. It's a strange relationship.

It's 4:40 am, I'm still wide awake since my 1am workout. After that I have watched some tv-shows, lady wanked, eaten two sandwiches and drinking 3 glasses of water. Now I'm writing this, trying to get my thoughts and feelings about the night into words, in english. I have no problem writing stuff in swedish, english is harder. It's like my sentences doesn't contain any emotions. Just words.
And I know this blog should be about my business in porn and tits and stuff, but sometimes I have to write me off.

And sorry to my friends that I have kept up way past your bedtimes. You know, I don't do it because I want to fuck you up, it's because I like to spend my nights with you. That's a compliment from my part.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Back in Sockholm

Have been home for a week now, no updates since I have been lazy, but that felt kinda good. Now it's a new week and stuff to be done :) making a cup of tea now and I'm gonna start editing all my footage from my trip.

Since I don't have a gym nearby with reasonable prices I have to continue my homw workout. And it's so freaking annoying! Laying on the floor doing sit-ups is probably the worst. It doesn't feel like I'm actually doning something good and my neck always hurts after a while. Everytime I start working out again i get more aware of my body, and i always feel fat. I kinda like my body as it is now, even though I've gained maybe 5 kg's, but it feels and looks like 20 now. When I was younger I was over-weight. So I started working out and stop eating which made me skinny, but I also became obsessed with losing weight. Now when I'm older and wiser, the same thing happens and it sucks. Don't know what to do... Since I get annoyed really quick when I work out I plan on doing 10 min work out three times a day, see how that works. I also hate walks, especilly now when it's cold outside. Damn you winter, damn you work outs!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Tits in public. Good or bad?

I think it's time for the world to stop seeing tits as such a big thing. Come on, they are just tits! 50% of the worlds population have them!

Males are allowed to walk arounf with nothing covering their upper bodies, why shouldn't females have the same right to do so? You maybe don't think it's such a big deal, we are used to females atleast wearing a bra when they are shirtless, but isn't it wierd that we are used to it, that it is the normal thing to do?
When you start to think about it, you realize how stupid it is and the only reason why tolerate this is because we grew up with it. I think it's time for a change!

This summer I will try to get a group of friends, both male and female, for a little topless walk around town or maybe just chill in the park topless, whatever feels right for everyone. See how people will react and hopefully make them think about it and realize, that it's not that bad. And I'm not saying that females have to walk around topless, just that they should have that option and it shouldn't be illigal.

Haha if people start seeing breasts with more neutral eyes, what will happen to porn? Will it just look like "ah i saw a pair of better looking tits walking past me today". But, I have small tits so this probably won't hurt my business as much, as long as i have my ass guys I'll be just fine ;)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Still in Umeå, and it's still great! Right now im positive and motivated to start to do more with my days!
Gonna go and hang out with a new friend (kinda new since I've only known him since new years eve) and watch some movies tonight, I'm happy about that. I rarely find new people that I want to hang out with.

My sisters told me yesterday that she and I can go and visit one of her friend's and borrow two horses for us, awesome! I haven't done any horseback riding for so many years and I'm super excited about this.
Some day when I'm rich and older I will get a farm with tons of animals, including horses, and feel like I live in my own personal paradise with happiness, cute, cuddly animals and a lot of hard, but pleasent work.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Here's the clip of me killing that poor lemon


Sleepless as always! Well, I'm having a fun time in Umeå, but now when christmas and new years is over I feel a bit worried about what to do with my time left here. You see, I can't afford to go home now to Stockholm, poor again! So I'm "stuck" here til the end of the month! I have been using my video camera a lot and I have tons of material to go through and editing until I have something fun to show for all of you.

My christmas: spent it with the better part of my family. We had a fun atheist christmas with a lot of laughs and tasty food. We played some board games too, days like christmas almost make me feel normal.

New years eve fucked shit up! It was an awesome night but as every other new years eve, you don't remember so much. Alcohol... you evil son of a bitch. I remember the fireworks though, they were amazing. Alcohol made the experience even better. And I got a new years kiss from a friend when the clock stuck twelve, it's okay that way, better to kiss someone you know when you don't have your boyfriend around than some random dude. I looked awesome that night aswell, I need to mention that, so you know. I will post a video this week of me squeezing a lemon. My pervy friend Marina documented the event with my camera. Or she isn't really pervy, but you might think that when you see what she zoomed in on. Look forward to that people!

It's time for tea and a smoke now.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Back again

With some help from my sister I'm currently sitting on my mothers couch, having a cup of tea and writing this. It's snowy here up north but really mild weather! I was very thankful for that last night when i had to walk home after a night of whiskey and talk with my two dear friends Marina and Robin. I hadn't told them I was coming yesterday, I just gave them a maybe tuesday, maybe wednesday or even thursday. I hope they thought it was a pleasant surprise when i knocked on their window waving a bottle of whiskey in my hand.

I have a lot of thinking going on right now, about the future and what I really want to do with my life and how I can make it happen. My current life situation makes me a bit depressed so.

I spoke with Amelie today, we had a talk about what the hell to do about this whole situation with media screwing us over. We really can't afford a lawyer right now so taking this thing to court is out of the question. However, since Amelie is a bright young female we have some other ideas on how we might get compensated. Maybe not financially but we will hopefully feel we did all we could to get this shit sorted out. Let people hear our story, even if we work in a business when people get used and screwed (hehe) it doesn't mean that it is okay to do that. In the interview in the tv show Amelie talks about how she wants to make fair trade porn and being able to pay her actors and actresses good and not screw them over. How can they air that show if they are doing the exact opposite of what she talks about? The both of us have gone through hell with all the feelings from this incident. They should have 1. Only used that material with her permission 2. Fucking pay her for using it even if they didn't had her permission. Gosh. Things will work out. When I get home, she and I will meet to talk about future projects.
In the end, we will have made a difference.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Still poor but not as much

Sorry about my lack of updates, but I'm boring as usual right now!

Thanks to my loving family I now have some money so I won't starve to death! And it seems like I'll be able to come home for christmas. Gonna travel next week I think, was planning to do it tomorrow but sometimes it's better to wait a couple of extra days so I can start looking forward to it.

I'm kind of nostalgic at the moment, but not in a good way. For exactly two years ago I had the worst breakup of my life. But shouldn't I be over it by now? It's been two years dammit! It just feels weird to still be affected by it. And I get some really strange flashbacks. I can remember him clearer than ever, fuck, this is stupid.

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Have been a bit stressed these past days, me and my boyfriend are kinda broke this month. We currently have about 100 SEK to live on until he gets his next salary. I am trying to stay positive and we are kind of used to being poor. So my diet consists of what we have at home, mostly sandwiches haha. The saddest part is that I might not be able to go come home to my family and friends for christmas, I looked forward to that so much!
Somehow, things always work out in the end, and money have a strange way to find their way into my bank account anyway. So I'm keeping my hopes up!

I belive everything happens for a reason. When I'm low on cash I can usually call my dad and he'll give me a couple of hundreds so I'll live but I haven't talked to him since the tv-show. Maybe this is a sign that I should maybe answers his calls now? He have called me three times now but I've been a coward and not dared to answer. I still really don't know what exactly to say to him, he will never be able to see this the way I see it.
When all my noodles and sandwiches have run out and I have nothing more to eat, maybe my pride will succumb to my hunger and I'll be able to face my fear.

Some positive things about being poor: You start to enjoy all the small things. The best part of the day was when I ate an orange. It have never tasted so sweet as it did today.
You try harder to make your life work. I'm looking for people to help me with my site and I'm gonna apply for a job. Maybe that won't give me money this month, but it will prevent this from happening again.
Somehow, I appreciate my boyfriend more. Even though his lack of working got us into this situation I still feel safe when we cuddle at night and when we're making dinner out of nothing. Maybe you can really survive on only love after all?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Shape up

Arrgh have to start doing stuff again! Atleast start to work out so I can get fit again. Now when i rarely drink alcohol it shouldn't be a problem to get in shape :) but I don't want to lose my ass! I suffer from the flat ass syndrome haha, so if i start to lose weight my ass get's so flat >.< well well, don't think that I have to lose weight more like, get more toned. So tonight I'm going to work out, maybe take a walk even! Should really get some pills from the pharmacy that can help me to sleep a bit. I have always had problem falling asleep but I found some prescription free pills that worked quite well.
I have asked my mum for tips on what to do when you are just home all day long (she has been unemployed most of my life) and I'm going to try them out. Mostly stuff like cleaning haha but I guess that is better than nothing.

Last night me and my guild tried ragnaros on heroic difficulty, just for fun. No need to kill him now, new patch is up in 1-2 weeks so. But would still feel great to kill that bastard once and for all!
We didn't even get close to a kill but it was good pratice. So the next time we try it we have a better chance.
One guy was really annoying though, we had about 3 hours left of the raid time when we finished Majordomo and he didn't like the heroic ragnaros decision at all. He mostly just wanted to get it done on normal so he could do something else. Sure, can kind of see his point, we haven't planned to try ragnaros on heroic before the raid or anything but still, 3 hours left of raid time, might aswell do some pratice. We all had some good laughs when we all failed miserably on some new mechanics but we pushed forward phase by phase and even if we where not even close on a kill it was still fun.
I rarely play wow right now. Skyrim is so fun and now I have a beta weekend pass to swtor (Star Wars the old republic) and going to try that out. I don't have so many hopes for that game, sure light sabers are cool and all but it kinda have the same graphics like wow, and that's a seven year old game.
I'll get back later to talk about my swtor experience!

Friday, November 25, 2011


Oh have very exciting plans for tomorrow! I'm going to feed some ducks -.- Yeah.. that's a friday for me because I don't have any friends down here that want's to do something. So that's my only solid plan for tomorrow. Can't wait to visit Umeå again, starting to feel a bit sad because of the lack of social interactions I have here. Tips on how to find new interesting friends in Stockholm are welcome!