Sunday, November 27, 2011

Shape up

Arrgh have to start doing stuff again! Atleast start to work out so I can get fit again. Now when i rarely drink alcohol it shouldn't be a problem to get in shape :) but I don't want to lose my ass! I suffer from the flat ass syndrome haha, so if i start to lose weight my ass get's so flat >.< well well, don't think that I have to lose weight more like, get more toned. So tonight I'm going to work out, maybe take a walk even! Should really get some pills from the pharmacy that can help me to sleep a bit. I have always had problem falling asleep but I found some prescription free pills that worked quite well.
I have asked my mum for tips on what to do when you are just home all day long (she has been unemployed most of my life) and I'm going to try them out. Mostly stuff like cleaning haha but I guess that is better than nothing.

Last night me and my guild tried ragnaros on heroic difficulty, just for fun. No need to kill him now, new patch is up in 1-2 weeks so. But would still feel great to kill that bastard once and for all!
We didn't even get close to a kill but it was good pratice. So the next time we try it we have a better chance.
One guy was really annoying though, we had about 3 hours left of the raid time when we finished Majordomo and he didn't like the heroic ragnaros decision at all. He mostly just wanted to get it done on normal so he could do something else. Sure, can kind of see his point, we haven't planned to try ragnaros on heroic before the raid or anything but still, 3 hours left of raid time, might aswell do some pratice. We all had some good laughs when we all failed miserably on some new mechanics but we pushed forward phase by phase and even if we where not even close on a kill it was still fun.
I rarely play wow right now. Skyrim is so fun and now I have a beta weekend pass to swtor (Star Wars the old republic) and going to try that out. I don't have so many hopes for that game, sure light sabers are cool and all but it kinda have the same graphics like wow, and that's a seven year old game.
I'll get back later to talk about my swtor experience!

Friday, November 25, 2011


Oh have very exciting plans for tomorrow! I'm going to feed some ducks -.- Yeah.. that's a friday for me because I don't have any friends down here that want's to do something. So that's my only solid plan for tomorrow. Can't wait to visit Umeå again, starting to feel a bit sad because of the lack of social interactions I have here. Tips on how to find new interesting friends in Stockholm are welcome!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Damn you Skyrim!

Fuck, it's 4 am apparently... felt like an hour or two since I started playing Skyrim. Turns out I have been playing for 8 hours >.< I hate games, they make me addicted to them as soon as I start playing them! Well, enough Skyrim for tonight. A lady is going to visit me tomorrow, she needs my opinion about the rehab i stayed at when I was 16-17 or something. She's working on a study about the group of people that you live with on rehabs, well haven't read the report she sent me about her study yet but I should before I go to sleep.
Ah well, still can't get it... 8 STRAIGHT HOURS?! Come on! This is bad, really bad.... Well, good thing I have that meeting tomorrow, then I won't play all day ^^ and now I know how addictive that game is so gonna give myself a timer or something, no more than 2 hours playtime. Like I'll just play that little... I have hope for tomorrows Vanessa, that she won't play so much that is, maybe like, dunno, make a cute clip and upload it on the blog perhaps. But I'm boring so that's not likely to happen ^_^
Can't really focus right now it seems, I'll get back to you when I'm not super sleepy and have been playing Skyrim all night!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I told you!

As I said, I'll probably just shoot a clip of my cat doing stuff, and I did! So here it is! 

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Yey I'll get my video camera tomorrow! Thinking about maybe doing a video blog but wtf should I talk about? I'll probably just show a clip of my cat doing stuff. That's how boring I am right now!
I will use my camera to shoot material for my site, but that is not even up yet so no need to shoot anything yet. So what will I shoot? My life is kinda dull at the moment, I don't have many friends here in Stockholm so I spend most days alone or with my boyfriend when he's not at work. Well, next time I go to Umeå I will have fun stuff to record such as awesome parties, more cats(!!!!) and maybe some behind the scenes footage from photoshoots :)

I'm also planning to be nice tomorrow and post some sweet pics here ^^

Til then, I can give you a sad/cute/fun pic I found some nights ago

Monday, November 14, 2011


I saw an amazing movie last night, and it was one of those you shouldn't watch before you sleep, because it fucks your brain up. The movie I'm talking about is "Melancholia", and it eft me kinda speechless! It was beatiful, clever and it had some good plot twists, or stories to keep your mind away from the actual plot. It's really worth watching and I'm not going to spoil anything by telling what it's about. Only that it starts with a couple of minutes of art porn (not nude tacky shit, the things they show are just so beautiful that if you like beatiful things, you'll see it as art porn) and the rest gosh, awesome! Good movies should give you a feeling when it's over, happiness, sadness, rage or angst, just something! If a movie doesn't make you feel anything it's not a good movie. And I felt angsty and sad after watching this one, which made me happy because it actually made me feel SOMETHING! So yeah, the tip of the day, watch "Melancholia".

And omg, think I have to explain my previous picture. It's not meant to be pretty. I can be pretty in pictures if I want to, but if I want to portray myself, a girl who had a cold for a week, why would I look pretty? I love that picture for its ugliness! It's ugly, but shows the truth. And girls shouldn't be scared of looking ugly in some pics, it's fun and makes you not take everything so fucking serious all the time.
So I'm just gonna leave this here. Haters gonna masturbate anyway.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Since I have been sick I haven't been able to do so much stuff irl so I though I'd treat myself with a trip to a faire! The darkmoon faire to be precise! So I logged on to the public test realm to give it a look!

First I took a ride on a sandbox tiger! Yey!

After that i realized one of my pets whole family was in their "zoo" area so she said hi. And cried a bit probably. I feel sorry for her. I wouldn't like to see my family trapped in a zoo!

I say this very disturbing picture! Why would anything eat a unicorn? :(
And doesn't the massive gorilla on the right kinda look like the monster on the poster? I don't know if I this guy...

 Saw a mini elephant and got a bit happier! This was like an unexpected trip for the zoo for me!

And this guy was apperently to dangerous to be outside of his cage. But he's so cute!

But I'm feeling so much better now! To bad all the zoo's in Sweden are closed for the season. I need to see some animals... Maybe I should get a tent and live in the forest?

Saturday, November 12, 2011


If you're sick, you're allowed to look like this.

Btw, I've been 20 for a month now. Still not used to it!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday friday

Happy friday everyone! I'm starting to feel a bit better now! So today i treated myself with an awesome friday dinner and I think I'm going to have one cold beer tonight because only one can't hurt right?
So all of you who are going out to drink tonight, have a beer for me aswell.

Oh and I love the new season of top model, I know, I'm lame for liking that show but I have been watching it from the start and I love the photoshoots ^^ they always inspire me to do some crazy shoot with people. So I'm probably gonna do that next time I'm going to Umeå. That's the place where I have my models, friends I trust and can have fun with during shooting. I actually prefer being behind the camera but I feel like trying to be infront of it aswell, I kinda have to if i want nice pics for my site.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Bleh, I'm boring

Nothing is happening in my life at the moment. I'm just trying to survive my sickness haha. Right now I'm not even sure if it's getting better or worse. Looking forward to another sober weekend.. yey. I want to hang out with people or just be able to go outside but nope, stuck at home! And I wont be able to drink next weekend either I think, because of my meds. Not a big deal really but I'd love a tasty cold beer right now! So to compensate for my boring updates I'm giving you a nice pic!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


I went to see a doctor today finally. After a blood test he told me I had an early stage of pneumonia. I'm just glad my boyfriend forced me to see a doctor because I know that pneumonia is really painful so it's great it was discovered early. I have some pills now and I will hopefully start feeling a bit better tomorrow already but I have to take three pills a day for ten days to be sure I'm completly cured. It's awesome to know your body! I knew something was wrong with this "cold" the minute I got it because I only get one kind of cold. First my nose gets runny, then fever and after 2-3 days i start coughing like crazy for 1-2 days then I'm fine. This time I started to cough in the beginning and got a fever later.

So today's lesson kids: If your body is acting weird, something is wrong, go see a doctor as soon as you can :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Some truth

Getting so fucking tired of being associated with the jerk Johan Vilde. Yes, he is a douche I did two scenes for I'm not very proud of and yes, my new material haven't been released yet but people please. You don't have to watch those clips! That guy totally screwed me over when it comes to my payment and how he runs his site.

Shortly after my clips got uploaded on his site the site got hacked. Or i can't even call it hacked because that dumbass had a very easy username and password combination for easy access, username: test password: test. Dude come on, sure you might use that to test the site in the beginning but after that you delete that fucking member. So yeah, all his clips got spreaded to a lot of free sites and suddenly everybody had seen them. And the fact that he use a diffrent voice in his clips and doesn't show his face is just wrong. Why should I have to show my face and my own voice in the clips but not him? Is he ashamed of what he does perhaps?

The payment, he told me i would get 4000 swedish kronor every hour for my work. I thought sweet, a lot of takes so he has a lot of material to pick from for the final cut and some cash for me yay! I figured out that my scenes would probably take about two hours to make if you want a lot of material to make a good clip. I also thought that the 4000 kronor for every hour of work would start to count as soon as i arrived at the set because I'm still there and about to do my job. Instead he tells me that no, you will only get paid for the minutes recorded. And that is just mean. He could have been a little more specific about that. And how the hell will I be able to know for sure how many minutes he recorded?

Anyway, we started shooting and he seemed like he just wanted to rush right through it. We didn't even talk about the scene and what we where going to do, or what he wanted me to do, just improvisation. This is also proof on how unprofessional this guy is. And we didn't stopped shooting until the scene was done, no re-takes on stuff he felt would look good in the clip or anything.

Btw, when i finally saw the final cut of the blow job scene I laughed. When we made that scene and he was about to come I started to get into to "cumshot" position. Trying to look silly and stugg you know, pornstar cum face and all, but the dude just wouldn't come! So I had to sit there and look stupid for 10-15 minutes while he is jerking off like a mad man. Im the final cut he only jerks off for a couple of seconds. Yeah, that's a pro...

So why did I do the scenes/clips for him. Kinda easy explanation. I did it too see if I could do it. I wanted to work with porn and you have to try it sometime. And i tried it with him, got screwed over as hell but I realized a very important thing. That I will NEVER work with anybody else except myself or someone I really trust! And if i hadn't done this, I would never have realized that I want to change this industry so it's not okay to treat girls like the douchebag Johan Vilde does.

After reading this, are you still sure that you want to see clips/scenes/movies produced by Johan Vilde? And if so, please tell me in a comment.


331 persons viewed my blog yesterday.
Who are you people and why don't you leave a comment or something?  ^^
And why didn't I get any new subscribers and hardly any likes on facebook? Lurkers, shape up : D if you like what I write, show your support :) In times like this I kinda need support from friends and family, but also random people who belives that what I'm doing is the right thing to do and that i actually have a chance to change the business. And of course, fans are always nice to have, and I'll need to get some before my website goes live :)

Well, lurkers, I don't know who you are so leave a comment, a like or whatever.

Btw, my dad called today. Didn't answer, still don't know what to say to him.


Marina have been a little angel today and helped me a lot with the blog's design, it looks great! I like helping people if i can and if people help me I feel happy because that shows that we have a true friendsship :) Friendship is a lot about being there for eachother, helping out and sometimes back off if needed and I'm glad i have a few friends like that.
Just wanted to share this and now I'll go back to coughing my lungs up!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Fever fever I want a pet beaver!

Oh shit, i hate this cold, if it's not over til monday I'll call a doctor. One second I'm freezing my ass off and the next sweat is pouring like summer rain. It feels like I have coughed up my lungs several times. I get over dramatic  when I'm sick. Last night i laid on the couch feeling miserable and weak, I told my boyfriend to get our cat (he's my son, but a cat, I have adopted him so... He feels like my baby) so i could say goodbye to him. This always happens haha, I always belive that I'm going to die when i have a cold. Sometimes it feels like my mind is still the mind of a little child. Well, I survived!

Not everything is bad today, an awesome photographer wrote to me on facebook and asked me if I would be interested in a photoshoot! Yey, I'm pretty! The only problem is that I suck at modeling, the only modeling I know of is from the countless seasons of Top Model and all that smizing (hopefully that's how it's spelled!). And if you have seen any of my ego pics you know that i always keep my mouth a bit open (like a retard or something) because that's the only way for me to get a longer more sensual face. My face is quite compact you see. Hopefully I'll get some tips how to work my face and my strange body (I'm not as skinny as I where before but I guess I kinda like it!) because right now I don't know what the hell to do with it!
But yeah, I'm really excited about this oppurtunity!

Tonight we are trying Cho'gall and Sinestra on heroic mode with the guild. I'm super nerous about this because both fights are really hard even if we are all firelands geared. I always say to people that it's not the dps that counts, it's the brain. Even though you top the dps but don't know how to handle situations and you die or get someone else killed, how much will that help the group? I play it safe with encounters until i understand fully how they work. When I do know all about the fight I can pewpew maxdps the shit out of the boss ^^ I feel prepared tonight though, hopefully the rest will be aswell.

Here's some pics on beavers!

Hello I r cutez beavah

I liek stikz

Friday, November 4, 2011

And the shit continues

I have a massive cold and a fever and I just found out that my dad had watched the tv-show. My sister doesn't seem to think it's a big thing because "people are curious" but to me it's a damn big thing! He could have just changed the channel! If you see your own daughter naked on tv, you change the fucking channel and maybe call her and ask "Gurl wtf have you been up to?!" but he didn't. Not even after he talked to my sister he called me and asked me what all that was about. He told my sister that i deserved a beating for doing what I do. Well, guess what I think? My dad deserves a fucking beating because he didn't change the channel.

People have been really supportive and positive about the whole thing but I don't think they really understand how I feel about this. I never agreed on letting them show so much of my naked body on tv. Ask yourself, how would YOU feel if someone showed clips of you being naked on tv without your permission?
And I don't even get any money from this. Sure, money can't make this thing go away but it would feel hell of a lot better if i got some cash so I could buy a video camera and pay someone to fix my site so I could start my own business.

So things are not so good at the moment. Trying to stay positive but dammit I have a cold :C

Btw, my guild got 6/7 heroic, that's the only good thing that has happend these last few days. So we almost cleared all content before the next patch because even if it's probably a month left until it will go live, I don't think we will be able to kill ragnaros heroic. Very few guilds have been able to do that, but hopefully, in a couple of weeks we might have a chance!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

That damned tv-show

Okay last night I saw my tits on tv. Was a strange feeling, they looked great but the fact that tv3 wasn't allowed to use that material really pissed me off. Amelie is the one who owns the movie they showed clips from and she haven't signed anything that says "OK tv3 it's okay to show my friend's tits and ass in your show and she won't mind it at all kthxbaaaai" it was more of the opposite. She told the producer that they couldn't show that material, only those things on the screen while she is editing the movie.
And i'm feeling ashamed that I have been in the same show as that retarded cunt Barbie Swede. Seriously, how many times have she been dropped on the floor as a baby? Because seriously........ I don't even know what to say but, good luck girl, hope you like your herpes <3

Back to the tits. I have heard a lot of positive feedback from friends and even family! It feels great that the people I love actually can see this as a positive thing and not hate me for this... I only agreed to a interview but it turned out to be a lot more haha.

I feel offended. Okay i show my tits and shit in movies but I don't like it to be shown on tv. If someone buys the movie they do it to see my tits and shit, but if people are watching tv, they are not doing it for the tits. It just feels unfair and the fact that a lot of my family members watched the show and had to see my tits just feels wrong. Bleeeh. They could have atleast showed a warning before the show "Everybody who appears on this show will show their tits (even if they haven't agreed to it) atleast, if you know someone who is going to appear on the show, please change the channel" but they didn't!

Enough of this. I'm going to make myself some soup because I have a cold and I have to get ready for tonights raid. We are 5/7 heroic now and ranked 13 or 14 on the horde side of the server! Planning to get 6/7 tonight, hopefully we'll make it :)

Yeah, pics like this makes me feel better.